Three days later- June 2008

He left. I stayed up all night and cried in Erica’s arms this time. Why was my life such a mess? I was so annoyed by myself now and the disarray I had caused. Danny called twice, and we let it go to voicemail
“He’s not even showing up, Anna. That proves how much he’s willing to fight for you.”
“He’s giving me time,” I reasoned.
“No, sweetie, he’s not. Stop defending him. If he really cared, really wanted you back, he’d be here. You know that. If the situations were reversed, Sidney would be sleeping on your doorstep.”
The realization hit me like a ton of bricks: Sidney would fight for me. What was I doing, giving a loser like Danny a second chance who didn’t think I was worth fighting for? The only guy who thought I was worth the battle had left the country. And I had let him.
I gasped. Erica then said, “Sweetie, I’ve never seen you shine brighter than you do around El Siddo.”
I jumped up, “Shit, Erica. What am I doing here?”
“Go get him, girlfriend.”



I ran out the door, threw my keys into the ignition and sped out onto the open road. I was fifteen minutes to the airport when the car started making funny noises and the emergency light came on. I had just pulled over, with the hazards on, when smoke started emitting from the car. I smiled when I thought of when Sidney had first met my car. He would be amused to hear this story. I had to get to him.
I called Amy.
“Listen, I’m on Route 100, about 6 miles before the exit. Can you get Jake’s old car that he doesn’t use? And drive it here?” Bless Amy, she asked no questions. I called Triple A and waited. When Amy and Jake arrived in separate cars, she threw me a bag with deodorant, a toothbrush and a change of clothes. “Girl’s intuition,” she said with a wink.
“Boy I’m glad you’re coming into my family,” I told her.
Jake gave me the keys, and the two of them waited for Triple A, while I sped off.

I’d been driving for ten minutes before the doubt started to creep in. What the hell was I doing??? Was I sure? Did I even love Sidney?

Did I love Sidney? I hadn’t thought about it. All I’d thought was that I’d let him run off in hurt and anger. The fact that he was hurt, hurt me, and that was what lead to my sporadic, manic road trip. I felt my eyes well with tears. I was so mixed up. I was beginning to reconsider this whole trip. I had had a fleeting thought back at Erica’s, and that was all. This didn’t make sense. How could I be in love with Sidney? The boy was completely nuts. His little pre-game traditions drove me up the wall. The fact that he flicked through the channels like he was in a race irked me, because he never took notice of what was on each channel. The fact that he separated all his green gummy bears from the rest because he hated them so pissed me off. The fact that he clumped so much gel in his hair drove me nuts. That he mixed his patterns when he put on suits made my head hurt. That he had such a devotion to Crocs made me sick. That he was so precise and calculated on camera angered me. No one ever got to see his silly side, the side that I knew.

Oh my God, Anna, I said to myself, clutching the steering wheel.
I don’t love Sidney. I kept saying it to myself. Maybe if I kept repeating it, I’d believe it. I don’t love Sidney.

Then why was I still driving?

I pulled over. I put the car in park, reclined back in the seat and something caught my eye. I leaned back so I could examine it. My breath hitched as I realized what it was.

A Famous Amos wrapper.

I started to cry, as I clutched the wrapper to my chest. Now Amos was resting where he belonged, and where I always secretly knew he dwelt: my heart.

I was an idiot. I was so helplessly in love with Sidney Crosby. I was too far gone to even recognize it. I had always been. All those quirks were the cutest thing about him. It was adorable he didn’t know how to dress himself! God, I was an idiot: an idiot that was madly in love for a guy that was slipping away by the second.

What an idiot. I jammed the key in the ignition, and when I heard no screeching from the engine, I smiled. Peace, just like what was in my heart at this moment.

I sped down to the Airport, and even though I had to book two connecting flights to Halifax, I knew I would get there. I just hoped and prayed his heart was still open.